The Best Team

My humble apologies to Bud Abbott and Lou Costello, who made this scene unforgettable.  Once the idea for this story found its way into my head, I could not let it go………..


Two seemingly intelligent men enter the infield of a baseball field; one is the coach of the team that will play later that day, and the other a reporter for a local newspaper. Neither person graduated at the top of their class.  Sitting in chairs with the pitcher’s mound as a backdrop, the reporter begins his pregame interview with the coach.

“Great day for a baseball game,” stated the reporter.

“Every day is a great day for a baseball game,” corrected the coach.

“Yes it is.  So coach, tell me about your team.  How do you think they will do today?”

“They will win, I guarantee it,” boldly pronounced the coach.

“That’s quite a forecast coach.  Why are you so confident?”

“Because mine is the best team.”  No brag, just fact.

“OK tell me about your pitcher, what’s his name?”

“His name is God.”

“God. No last name?  Is he like one of those rock stars or something?”  The reporter already had an uneasy feeling about this interview.  “Has he got a good fast ball?  A good curve ball?”

“He is really fast; so fast you can’t even see the ball.  But he doesn’t throw curves.”

“Wow!  You must have a great catcher then.  What’s his name?”


“The catcher, not the pitcher.”

“I know, his name is God.”

“The catcher’s name is God too,” clarified the reporter.  “Isn’t that confusing?”

“God is pretty smart.  He doesn’t get confused very often.”

“How about your infield?  They good too?”

“Yep.  I have God playing in the infield.”

“Where in the infield?”


“Who’s on first?”

“God’s on first.”

“God plays pitcher, catcher, and first base.”

“How about short stop?  He God too?”


“Suppose there is a ground ball hit to short.  Would the announcer say, ‘Here’s the pitch by God; it’s hit to short stop, fielded cleanly by God who makes the throw to God at first for the out.’ That’s ridiculous.  God can’t be everywhere!”

The coach stood, and looking up at the sky began to slowly walk away from the reporter.

“Where you going, we are not done yet?” The reporter was concerned.

“God doesn’t like to be called names.  Sometimes he throws stuff – like lightening.”

“You mean he is as fast as lightening?”

“No, I mean he throws lightening; you know the burning stuff that comes with thunder.”

Loud thunder rolled across the sky (very good timing).

The reporter looked to the sky, “OK, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to insult anybody.  Come on coach, let’s finish.”  The coach sat down.

“One more question.  When your team is up to bat, if God bats first, and he is the only one on the team, who bats second?”  A good question.

“Nobody bats second, ‘cause God always hits a home run.”

“Really?  Always?  He never even hits a triple?  As manager, you don’t have to spend a lot of time writing a lineup then, do you?”

“Nope, I just sit back and let God handle everything.”


When it is time to choose players for your team, pick the best player first.

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14 thoughts on “The Best Team

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